Something More

This is extremely hard for me to write, but as a journalist major...writing has always been my outlet. I strongly believe that healing comes in many different ways for each of us. For me, it comes with time, prayer and just getting things off your chest.  Most of you already know that I have been facing something that I never thought I'd have to face as a wife and a mother....a divorce. Honestly, if you had asked me earlier if I had any clue that this would happen...I would have laughed at you. Shocked is an understatement. All I have ever wanted was to be a good wife and a mother and I thought I was. Did life get hectic and busy along the way? Sure it did. Marriage is not a cake walk like some people lead you to believe. It takes work. When you take your vows, you have to decide whether you are in it for the long haul. What hurts is when you decide you are and your spouse decides he isn't. What hurts even more is when there are two small children involved who have to suffer from that decision and you are left trying to pick up the pieces and just wanting to understand it all. Despite a lack of understanding, I can say one thing I've come to realize. God has never let me down. He has shown me that "Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8). I've realized that there have been several times in my life where I have gone through storms and God has always been there. He is the one who is always faithful and is always promising to bring me through and give me something more. When I battled infertility, I remember my friend Tina gave me a CD by Kristy Starling. She told me to listen to the track called "Something More." After my first artificial insemination, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited. My world crashed around me a couple weeks later when I found out that I was having a miscarriage. I remember driving in my car and finding comfort in that song. I haven't listened to that CD in quite sometime, but this morning the lyrics popped into my head out of the blue. Coincidence? I don't think so. Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever!  God tells us that the storms are going to come and that we must be ready. I pray that no matter what you are going through that you will remember to praise God in the storm. He will get you through. He can see a lot farther than we can and has only our best interest at heart. Isn't that comforting?

"Everything's changed, and I want to believe
There must be a reason, there just has to be
Cause my faith is strong, till it all hits home
And it's not enough for me to trust
When it hurts too much

On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I need to praise You
For I am Yours, I'm Yours

Where is the power, to give what I gave
Give back the strength
Give back the faith I had yesterday
Cause you are my God
You are my Great I Am
And I know I have fallen but..
I have landed in healing hands

On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I need to praise You
For I am Yours, I'm Yours

And in my fraility, you lead me to something more
So I close my eyes, cause inside my heart
I believe, that I'm not alone
You'll always be there for me

On the days I feel like I've failed you
The days I feel I've been failed
I know that I need to praise You
For I am yours, still yours
Cause I believe you lead me to something more
Something more, something more..."